


The Great British Drink Off

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, And Lots of It, Contests, Crack, Drink Off, Drinking, Drinking Contest, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Jemma Simmons is not a lightweight, So cause there's drinking, Vomiting, just a warning for, just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 17:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9335654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: Really, there was no way that Jemma Simmons could drink more than him.It really just wasn't possible.// Or the one where Hunter challenges Jemma to a drink off and learns a lot about the young biochemist.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I have no idea what this is. It just came to me, as everyone seems to think that Hunter does like his drink, and Jemma can handle her drink, so I just put them together and made this *flails* Thanks for checking out, and I hope you enjoyed.

Hunter stared at Jemma as she reached for another drink and raised an eyebrow. If there had been one thing that he had learn about drinking in all the time that he had been drinking, it was that sometimes, sometimes it hit you all at once.

And it wasn’t fun, pleasant or pretty.

“Are you sure you should be drinking that?” he asked, staring at the bottle in her hand.

She frowned and looked at it also. “What do you mean?”

“That. Are you sure you should be drinking anymore? You’ve already had a couple of bottles.”

Jemma looked at the empty bottles that littered the tables, that were not just from her but from the rest of the team also. “I’m fine,” she said. “It’s nothing compared to what I used to drink.”

Hunter rolled his eyes, as if he couldn’t believe it. Yes, Jemma Simmons had survived over half a year alone on a desert planet, but there was no way that she could outdrink him. It was a proven fact that males had a higher alcohol tolerance than females.

“No it’s true,” Fitz said, backing her up. “You should have seen her during the Academy days, she could outdrink most of the cadets in... well anyone. Heck, half the people here, and not just us, have probably been outdrunk by her.” He looked quite smug with the statement, and pleased with himself as Jemma rolled her eyes this time. She leaned into him, and he wrapped his arm around her.

But Hunter still wasn’t convinced. “Nah,” he shook his head. “You’re only saying that ‘cause you’re her boyfriend.”

Jemma laughed. “If I wanted a boyfriend who agreed with everything that I said, I would never haave broken up with Milton.”

Hunter frowned. He had no idea who Milton was but that didn’t matter. He refused to believe that Jemma could outdrink him. And he knew of one way to prove this fact. “Oh, yeah. Wanna bet I can outdrink you?” He extended his hand.

Jemma nodded. “Of course. How much?”

“$50. And loser buys dinner.”

“It’s a deal.” She shook his hand, leaning forward over the table and being careful not to knock any of the bottles over. “Except we do it tomorrow night.”

Hunter laughed. “Chickening out already?”

Jemma shook her head. “No. We’ve already drank. We have alcohol in our bloodstreams. We should start fresh. Make sure we have nothing in us. That we’re 100% sober. If you don’t believe me, then ask your wife.”

Hunter turned to look at Bobbi who simply shrugged. “She’s right.”

“Tomorrow night then.”

***

The next night came quicker than anyone was expecting and word quickly passed around the base that there was going to be a drink off. Excitement was present, as many agents knew that Jemma could hold her drink better than most people expected.

Heck, some of them had even attempted to outdrink her only to fail.

Miserably.

Bets had been placed all day, as some agents thought (after having seen Hunter drink) that Jemma may have found her match after many years, and lines were drawn in the sand.

So when evening fell, and Mack, Elena, Bobbi, Daisy and Fitz gathered in the lounge (a number of agents hanging around the corner of the room), excitement was at breaking point.

Everyone on the team, as Jemma called it, had sided with her and before the competition began, Hunter made Bobbi run a drug test on her. “Just to make sure she hasn’t taken anything to help her win,” he had argued.

When it came up as clear (as did Hunter’s as Jemma said she would only take one if he did), proceeding’s soon began.

Earlier in the day, Elena and Mack had went to the local shop and brought multiple cases of beer, all with the same alcohol content as that would make it a clearer test, as according to Jemma, they were going to do this in the scientific way. They had finally settled on the beer that was typically brought after a lot of arguing.

Back in the lounge, sitting at opposite sides of the table, with those supporting them taking that side also (with Hunter’s side having slightly less supporters), Hunter and Jemma reached for the first bottles each.

Clinking them together, Hunter nodded. “May the best person win.”

Jemma nodded back. “I do want that $50.”

Hunter shook his head, taking the first drink. “You have no hope.”

This went on for a while.

And they both took different approaches; Hunter was trying to get as much drunk as possible, Jemma meanwhile was playing the long game. She was taking her time so was on her third bottle was Hunter approached his sixth.

“You okay?” he asked her, slightly slurred as he reached for his seventh.

She shook his head. “No, I’m fine, though I think that question is best directed to you.”

“Nah, love. I’m fine. I could do this all night.”

And as the night moved on, more and more people joined into watch, and Hunter started to slow down, while Jemma caught up with him. As well as getting a drug test taken, they had been careful what they had eaten all day, to ensure that this was a fair test, it was science after all.

They had eaten the same food all day, and the same amount, just to ensure that it was fair. They had had something to eat, as drinking on an empty stomach was something that neither of them wanted to do, having learnt from previous experience.

It did mean however, that for most of the day, Mack had had to watch Hunter to ensure that he had no chocolate bars during the day, upsetting the British mercenary greatly.

Hunter kept on slowing down as the night progressed, and Jemma caught up, and soon, they were neck and neck, on the same bottle.

And Hunter got cocky. Everything was now at stake. He had to win. He couldn’t lose.

There was so much money on the line at this point, as well as his pride.

He just had to win.

So he downed the first bottle without so much as breathing and then the second and was about to speak, to taunt Jemma when he threw up as soon as he opened his mouth.

Violently.

Elena, sitting on the sofa opposite jumped back, just to avoid being splashed with any remains, while Bobbi just rolled her eyes and walked around to him, throwing the bucket that they had brought just in case, on his lap and directing any more vomit from him into it.

Jemma, finishing of that bottle and two more, slowly, lay back as Fitz wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in close, before placing a kiss on her forehead. “Do you think?” she asked, closing her eyes and leaning into him, allowing her head to come to rest on his shoulder. “That he’ll remember this tomorrow?”

“Nah,” Fitz said. “But at least we have footage of it.”

***

The next morning, Jemma was in the kitchen alone, a mug of tea in one hand while she flicked through an article on her tablet with the other. When Hunter came in.

His footsteps alerted her to him, causing her to look up. She smiled at him. “Morning.”

He just groaned in reply, looked at the fridge and then sat down, deciding that eating was something that he didn’t want to do, not with his stomach the way it currently was.

“Are you okay?” she asked, and Hunter wondered for a moment if she was being sarcastic, trying to be funny but then remembered that this was Jemma Simmons. She didn’t have a bad bone in her body. She was also keeping her voice low, which was nice, unlike Bobbi and Mack who decided shouting was the best way to talk to him at the moment.

“No, I don’t think I am.”

“Here,” she said. There was some rustling as though she were reaching in her pocket for something and then slid it across the table. “Just take the one and you’ll be fine in about an hour.”

He looked up at what she had given him. It seemed to be a box of medication. “What?” he asked.

Jemma just smiled. “It was something I made, a number of years ago. It’s perfectly safe.” She stood up, and set her mug in the sink, then washed it. After that, she poured a glass of water and passed it to him as he took one out of the packet.

Swallowing it with the water, he passed the packet to her and she placed it back in her pocket. “Oh Hunter,” she said from the doorway as she was about to leave. “Thank you.”

And with that, she was gone, leaving Hunter with a lesson that was well and truly learnt.

Never doubt Jemma Simmons again about something that she said she could do.

**Author's Note:**

> Any alcohol science is probably wrong, though I have heard multiple times (including by those professionals that go into schools and tell you not to drink too much!) that men do have a higher tolerance to alcohol because they have a higher water content to dilute it. The drinking on an empty comes from experience. It's nasty. NEVER do it. Many thanks for checking out, hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave a comment! I love reading your thoughts!


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